Obliteration

Ha! I have taken the hammer to my idealism and smashed any semblance of normality to bits.

How was it that I thought that I could ever enter into a sphere of sanity? That is plain crazy.

Despite my design, I do not have that capability. I think it was deleted from the main frame years ago from lack of use.

So I am basically stuck being as-is. Yep, as that cartoon character on a channel that no one really tunes into anymore. Except for some children. And you were always wondering why I did get along so well with children...

But for people my age and older and even those slightly younger, all you so-called adults, forget it.

I will never be understood much less truly appreciated in this country. I accept the fate that I shall not ever be accepted, cherished, or loved by anyone other than myself here. And that is why I loathe this existence and shall continue getting caught up with my fantasies until I save up enough money to run off to another country for yet another enlightening experience on this whole theme!

Blasted! I am proud of my Canadian heart!

One day, I will go home. I promise. I just have not suffered enough for the longing to truly pierce through yet.

Then again, I have become significantly de-sensitized over the last 120 hours...

And I am still scared of all of you so stay away from me!